Tormented Soul
by LoverKodomo
Summary: And that's how it was... That's how it is... I can never be like him. I can never be his equal. There is no love in a cold demon's heart for a mortal like me...


**Greetings everyone! I've decided to write a new fiction for you all, and I hope you will all enjoy it.**

**This is a one shot, and it's a one shot I dedicate to my favorite authoress, BLKWIDOW77!! Her own unique story, "Twitch Twitch", has captivated me entirely. And because she is the very first person to ever do so, I decided to write a story in honor of her!! But don't think for minute I'm gonna do this for everyone…. yes, I can be quite cruel…**

**Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything, much less Yu Yu Hakusho. I don't even own this 'wet noodle'… I'm borrowing it from Blkwidow77.**

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_**Tormented soul**_

_**With no hope left**_

_**A gaping hole**_

_**Where the heart last slept**_

_**Alone with the day**_

_**Alone with the night**_

_**No loving comfort**_

_**No warmth or light**_

That's how it was. That's how it is. It's always like that. It just never ever changes.

Time and time again, I end up in the same situation, facing near death and escaping with only my fear and my wounds. With only my regret and my shame. I have no honor. I can never hope to compete with him. He is my better. It's always like that.

I don't understand, how he can outmatch me so quickly; how he can triumph with more victories in battle than I can in a whole millennia.

He just seems to be invincible. Why can't I be like him? Why can't I follow in his footsteps, hold my head just as proudly, and not cower in fear before him? Am I truly that despicable? Have I really sunk that low?

I once was a strong creature. I was the best in my own world. But I'm not there anymore. I'm in his world now. And I can't go back. That's just how it is. I can never be his equal.

He lashes out before me, killing my targeted opponent without a word. The slain enemy-my enemy- falls to pieces on the ground, the grass stems splattered with heavy drops of dark blood. He lifts his head and slowly meets my gaze, face blank like countless times before.

"Stay on your guard, woman, or else these low-class demons will be the least of your worries." He says in a dull monotone voice, as though my death would mean nothing to him. It probably wouldn't. I harden my features and turn sharply away, focusing on other demon close by. Yes, this one will serve quite nicely for me to vent my frustration out on…

I listen intently to the sickening rip of sword through flesh, as blood splatters the front of my shirt and neck like a crimson mist. I pay no heed, instead, focusing my attention on the dying creature before me, pretending it to be the dying figure of my 'mate'. How I wish I could just sink this sliver of metal through his side…

_**Tormented heart**_

_**With dying soul**_

_**You can't restart**_

_**You're getting old**_

_**Your body's worn**_

_**You're fading fast**_

_**The heart's been torn**_

**_You know you won't last_**

Just as quickly as I had pierced the demon's chest, I twisted the blade's handle and jerked it back hard, releasing it from torn flesh and shattered bone.

I hadn't always been like this, you know. I didn't used to kill so harshly or mercilessly. He made me this way. It is all his fault… and somewhat my own. If I had never met him…. If I had never grown so weak…

I once was a peaceful child, innocent and oblivious to the real dangers going on around me. I never realized the world had so many problems. I never knew that I was a part of it all as well. But he came and stole me away, forcing me to accept these many horrible truths, engraving the deepest emotional burns on my heart. And he would just walk away afterwards without a single care, as I lay bleeding on the inside, with no one for comfort.

There were times when I thought that he cared, however; when a flicker of concern would flash in his bottomless red orbs, only to be swallowed up behind a hateful scowl or piercing glare in the next instant. The emotion he seemed to feel… never seemed to linger that long. There was no true reason why it should last. Especially if he didn't have a heart to feel such things.

I stood after wiping the blood on the shirt of the dead demon, lifting my head and turning to gaze at the others and how they had managed. Yusuke had already beaten the leader, whilst Kurama was helping Kuwabara on his feet. My mate…. was nowhere to be seen. How typical. Just like him to run off after a fight. Maybe the strong warrior was really a coward on the inside…

But alas, he returned, standing alongside Kurama as though he had been there all long. As though he had never left in the first place. I sighed. I was really hoping to raze him about his little disappearance, too when we got back. We may have defeated the enemy and could now celebrate, but my mate would never allow me to do such things. Pets just perform tricks for their masters. They're not allowed to have any fun.

I sheathed my weapon and prepared to walk towards them, ready to head in and call it a night. Whoever thought handling a small group of rebel youkai could be so exhausting?? Certainly not I.

Suddenly, Yusuke was shouting something to me, and I faintly heard him from the distance between us. My eyes widened in alarm as I snapped my head around to see a stray demon come at me from the side. He was moving too quickly. He had caught me off guard.

I barely felt the biting sting of his weapon slice through my side, as my precious life blood began to mingle with the demon blood already on my clothes.

In an instant my mate was beside me, sword raised as the demon that attacked me fell into pieces. I didn't see his attack. Either of them.

The look on my mate's face was one that captivated me the most. Such a look of mixed concern, shock and fury was alien on him. I had seen him mix emotions before, but none of them were ever associated with me in a good way. All he seemed to feel for me was disgust, regret, and anger. There was never a feeling of closeness or love. There was never any concern or alarm.

_**Tormented one**_

_**With nothing more**_

_**You're spilling your lies**_

_**All over the floor**_

_**With rivers of blood**_

_**Pooling beneath you**_

_**You'll drown in the flood**_

_**Of the tears that torment you**_

I blinked, finding myself encompassed in his arms, my head leaning precariously on his chest. Soft. He was so soft and warm…. So this is what it is like to be held so tightly and protectively by him… it was a nice feeling.

He said my name repeatedly, growing more frustrated by the minute when I refused to answer him. But this time, he did not shake me roughly. He did not hurt me in any way. He just continued to hold me, hold me in such a way as though he were afraid I would be taken from him. It was a strange and unusual thing. To see him feeling such compassion for me at a moment like this.

But that's all it was. A moment. A moment that would quickly fade away into oblivion, never again to be existent. This would just be the only time that he cared for me so deeply, embraced me so tightly. Just for this moment. And then it would all be gone.

The others reached us, gazed down at the wound, before turning their heads away in shame. Was I that pitiful to look at? Did I look that weak, lying in my mate's arms like some abandoned child??

The look on everyone's face was solemn and grave, like they knew a dark secret I did not. Was I that pathetic not to be told as well? Did they feel obliged to keep everything from me?

I shook my head as a dark haze began to cloud my vision, sitting up some. Or, as much as I could while in my mate's arms. "W-what's wrong, guys? W-why do you look so sad?" I asked, finding it rather hard to speak. Damn, my throat was so dry. My voice came out barely as a whisper, but everyone seemed to hear it nonetheless. They acted as though I had shouted the words.

Kurama came and kneeled down beside us, his face filled with regret and anguish. "Rei…. You've been severely wounded. I don't think you're going to pull through this time." He said softly, and I finally realized what it was he was talking about. I glanced down at my side…. And wished I hadn't. The truth is so much harder to accept than lies. The truth is painful. And what he said…. Was true.

Through the rivers of blood spilling from my side, I noticed the deep deep slash, that had been aimed to split me in two. If I hadn't jerked to the side before the demon attacked… I wouldn't be here now. I'm surprised I still am. But that truth… may not be true for too much longer…

I looked up at my mate, whose head was bowed, his dark bangs shadowing his eyes so I couldn't see what expression he wore. I reached a hand up to touch his cheek. Damn it all! I will not have him ignore me! He jerked at the sudden contact, and slowly lifted his head, saying nothing to me. But, he didn't have to. The look on his face… was well enough.

My heart clenched painfully as his eyes burned with sadness and longing, as though he was truly affected by the turn of events. He gripped me tightly, determination and uncertainty setting in. "Don't you die on me, woman. Don't you leave me." He whispered fiercely, his tone riddled with fear and anguish. It would've been so much more easier if he had just shouted the words at me. I couldn't fight the tears that spilled from my eyes, as I clung to his shirt tightly.

I've changed my mind. I don't hate him. Not even a little. I truly do care about him. I won't leave him. Who cares if I'm dying. I WON'T leave him!!

_**An empty tomb**_

_**For an empty shell**_

_**Do you know the meaning**_

_**Of Eternal Hell?**_

_**The darkness that takes you**_

_**You know it won't let go**_

_**Listen to the shattering screams**_

_**You're fearful cries do echo**_

I pull myself up closer to him, the emotion he inspired in me intensifying with each passing moment. I can't die just yet. I haven't told him that I….

"Hey, I'm not dying. D-don't believe these… bakas…..W-what do they know?" I said, a faint smile gracing my lips. And a faint smile graced his as well. "You know, all this t-time, I truly c-cared about you…. I always th-thought that if I…. could try hard enough…. I-I could be more like you…. That I c-could be j-just as great and powerful."

My words were costing me everything. And I knew it. I could feel my soul getting ready for departure. I had better make this quick…

"…. And then I realized that… no matter how you may have, treated me…. Or how anything had become…. I would still admire you…. I would still….love you…. Dammit Hiei, I love you so much…." My last words came out as a whisper, but I knew he heard them nonetheless. A look of utter anguish and despair washed over him as he started to cry. I was shocked. This was the first time ever that I had seen him cry. I never knew he could do it.

So even a strong warrior can shed tears….

He held me as heavy sobs wrenched his body, his crying soft and low against my ear. I wish I could share some of the pain he was feeling right now, but I couldn't. I was already in pain just watching him, knowing I had been the one to cause it.

The others remained silent as they watched the moment play out before them. They knew how it was going to end. They knew. And all they could do was watch on wordlessly as their friend continued to shed tears over his dying love.

My vision began to darken and then fade, my body slowly starting to slip into the comfort that was its death. No, not yet. There's still one thing left I haven't done.

I pulled myself back away from him, so I could stare him in the face. He looked up at me; eyes clouded with tears and suppressed emotion. This close to me, he truly looked like a lost soul, and soon he would be a lonely one. I placed a hand on his cheek, my fingers shaking as they knew what I was about to do. I forced a weak smile, before leaning in and capturing his lips with my own.

A look of surprise crossed his features, but only for a moment before he returned the gesture. He poured everything into that final kiss; his depression, his hurt, his longing…. his love. Time seemed to come to a halt, Fate allowing us this final moment, before it too faded away forever. Just as quickly as the moment had come… it ended. I let him go. "Sayonara, m-my love…." I murmured before closing my eyes. I breathed my final breath, and then no more….

_**The void's consumed**_

_**All of your soul**_

_**The flowering tomb**_

_**The blood, the woe**_

_**Tormented soul**_

_**With nothing left**_

_**A gaping hole**_

_**Where the heart last slept**_

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**Wow, this story is really emotional, yeh? But, that's how it's supposed to be, I guess. I hoped you enjoyed it however! Don't forget to review on your way out.**


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